The Commitment 24-Hour Quest
This is a very exciting process we are engaged in. There are over 500 people signed up for the Commitment Quest and I know many of them are sharing information with others in their families (they have told me so, and it is fine, even good!) so I believe we will have around 500 people looking at commitment in their lives right now and taking a stand for at least one Commitment in their life this weekend. The effort and sacrifice! what a blessing you are all giving the world, it is absolutely incalculable! At the end of the Quest, I want you all to pause and feel a sweet hug from the universe, no matter how you subjectively feel you did. You and your work matter.
The concern many of you are expressing to me about the second letter of preparation I mentioned earlier isn’t necessary. I did intend to write one after I returned from a 10-day class in No Idaho, but, the universe had other plans for us and I got sick and spent the week in bed instead! But don’t worry, the letter would have been mostly a refinement of the purpose of this Quest to help you focus your preparations and there is still time for that—though there is a bit more pressure on that now. The first few paragraphs below will address those ideas while the rest of this letter will discuss the process of the actual Quest and phone times I will be available beforehand to answer any questions you may have.
So let’s take a ride on a dragon that we have no control over and let it just be a glorious ride (I warn you though, it is hard to mount and ride a dragon)! To that end, let’s review the stake and the sash attaching us to it. I hope you are focusing on those stakes! They are important as symbols of your journey to the Commitment you are making, and the work you are doing now. The clarity you achieve here will make a big difference as you step into the Quest with a clean slate and prove your Commitment.
So the work you pour into the stake is the cleaning of the slate, the removing of the first, surface layer of resistance you face to your Quest for Commitment. But they are more than that they are your commitment placed in action for the 24 hours of the Quest—they are part of your proof of committing and part of your proving that commitment for the future! The sash determines the amount of waver you might accept but then “this far and no farther”. Or think of it another way, the sash gives you enough room to maneuver in the battles that will come after you make your commitment, but you will always reach, “this far and no further”!
You see you have resistance to any commitment you seek to make from both the light and dark aspects of yourself and they need to be cleared. This preparation is your clearing of that first layer so in the actual Quest you can dive deeper to encounter your truly fierce enemies, not the minor annoyances but the big fears, the rages, the hates that all have been using you for their identity. And here you encounter your opportunity to prove your commitment. You see, we all want to be safe, warm, and comfortable (though that may mean something different to each of us) but commitments aren’t about any of that, they are about standing on the edge of the vast unknown with a fierce determination to act despite what the next step brings or where it takes us! It is a mighty leap into the infinite and standing with only the commitment as support. This is true whether your commitment seems small to you or huge; in the commitment, you release everything, including yourself, into the unknown.
The next part of the preparation to consider is the commitment itself. In other words, what are we actually trying to do out there for 24 hours? Are you thinking that after the preparation for this Quest you will be ready to offer your commitment to the Creator in the first hour? No, the journey has just begun! Besides, who are you trying to prove your commitment to anyhow? The Creator? Of course not, the Creator already knows your commitments and doesn’t need your help clarifying them. You are proving them to yourself!! You are demonstrating them to yourself! Your preparation and the Quest itself are about you! You have to embrace every aspect of this commitment within you, light and dark, face every challenge, and if you are still standing in the end, are still committed, then you can present that gift to the Creator and to Creation. By then it will be a celebration!
Again, you are Questing to prove you are capable of making a commitment, and holding it, through all challenges to yourself. The question we often wonder of ourselves is, “am I strong enough to maintain a commitment, to stay within the length of the red sash, no matter the mental, emotional, or spiritual challenge arising? Is it rainy? Chilly? Hot sunny? Monsoon? Am I filled with Rage? Self-judgment? Self-Doubt? What weakens you? Where are your limits? Where do you stand in this world! What will cause you to be chased away from your stand?
And you hold that stand for 24 hours, one entire day and night to face the challenges that arise, so at the end, you know you are both capable of that commitment and have truly made it—you have proved it to yourself and you know you can face any challenge to it without weakening. You didn’t know that with such clarity before, now it is unstoppable. You proved it to yourself, you allowed yourself to be tested and you faced each test and found the resources within yourself, and you overcame each of them. That is the overarching purpose of the Quest
The first step of this Quest is the feeling that it is time to commit to a particular thing, a feeling that has become such a strong desire that it cannot be deflected. It is the choice to commit and do the work to clarify that step. The second step is standing on the edge of the abyss, teetering, part of you clinging to stability, part of you yearning for release and letting go; the eternal struggle between light and dark. That is the Quest. The last step is your release into the abyss of commitment!
So let’s look at those last two steps! You have already done the first step.
When you arrive at your Quest site, wherever it may be, offer a prayer from your heart, make a small, personal ceremony and then plant your stake and attach yourself to it. I typically plant the stake in the middle of the circle but that is a choice, only the planting is important. Here is the field you work within. It may appear limited but it is not: there are no limits in eternity. For the Quest, you may face any direction that calls you or no direction at all. The only thing that matters is how you spend the next 24 hours! I would recommend avoiding any distractions, which means anything that will remove your focus and attention from the journey at play within you…that is all that matters here.
Then, recall your commitment, recall all that you have done on it and your resistance to it so far. Understand it as clearly as you can. Then, just embrace it all, lovingly and compassionately; all of your resistances are there for a reason, they served you once and just because they no longer do doesn’t mean they should be rejected. Embrace all you see within and before you; accept everything. When you feel it has all come together, then the Commitment Quest begins in earnest.
Explore further now on the pure feeling level. Take all that you have done so far and let it consume every corner of your life and every corner of your feeling, become it, and let it become you. Loosely hold it all in awareness not as an anchor but as a direction pointer and look deeper; take everything into the darkness within, explore deeper into the fear, the rage, the crying voices inside, the desire for distraction in life in general not just in this small area, and when you reach a new level of feeling and understanding see how that now integrates to your commitment and all else you have done. See the action of your resistances in your life—this Quest has given you the time! What keeps you living smaller than your vision urges you to?
Allow it all to come together as a new oneness of feeling and knowing and feel a kind of pause, the momentary stillness, as things resolve and quiet. And now, do it all again! And again. And again! You may find yourself exploring the commitment to become a healer yet find yourself facing your fear of scuba diving! It is not a distraction, dive in, your poor physical, logical mind doesn’t know the connection, but it is there. Everything in your life is connected to everything else by an interconnected web, and after you reach one momentary pause in the work you will notice subtle changes in the commitment, in the darkness around it, in the light. Enjoy those for a few moments success and peace, and then ask, “Is this all?” “Can I go further?” “Is this as far as I can take it?” And begin again to explore the murky areas now exposed. There is no limit to this journey or another way to say this is to consider how deeply you are committed to it!
If you get stuck, focus more sharply on the light aspects of yourself, your loves, your enthusiasms, hour happiness, and your comfort; how do they relate to your commitment? Then do the same with your darkness, your fear, your anger, your hopelessness, helplessness, your self-doubt and selfishness, and your traumas; how do they relate to your commitments? This is not a mental journey though you can use your mind to get it started. Always return everything to your feelings, that is where the work is done and the resolution found.
When I do this, I walk the circle in a sun-wise direction when exploring the light, and walk in a counter sun-wise direction when I explore the dark energies within me. It helps hold my focus on the light and dark and seems to call for help from those forces.
Continue this diving and reintegrating over and over again throughout the day and night. What is happening in the day doesn’t matter, you are proving to yourself that at 10 AM you can still face all challenges from any depth to your commitment, at 3 PM, at 11 PM at 2 AM you can still tackle the challenges and persevere. You are proving to yourself that you are capable of making a monster commitment because you have done it for 24 hours!
I think that stage is clear enough.
What do I mean by the ‘abyss of commitment’? Simply that we don’t know where the commitment will take us. We take a blind leap into all possibilities, eternity, and perfect silence and we trust the knowledge that emerges. That is our commitment, that is our realization, gained from step one above, that we can be trusted with the tasks to fulfill our commitment. How does it apply here?
Each time you come to a pause in the work of step one, a moment of calm partial resolution, notice that what you have achieved is a whole new totality of commitment, resistance (dark), and enthusiasm (light). They have formed a new unit, expressed symbolically by the yin/yang image from the east. The pause is that it now sits inside unchallenged from within and balanced from without. The darkness has been contained, not obliterated, by your total acceptance of its presence and feeling. It is quiet. The light is humbled by the recognition that so much darkness was held within and that even some of the “light” was, in reality, darkness. They are in balance—for now.
Just notice this new wholeness, sense it, feel it as it is now, changed. Allow it to form into a oneness of feeling and image if there is one. And then, and here is the heart, simply release the whole into the sacred silence in whatever way works for you. Just let it go! Drop it all, relax everything to the silence you stand upon. Don’t worry, nothing will be lost but everything will be gained!
Those of you trained in this simple step can follow their training. For others, I find a simple, gentle breath in, a pause while filling yourself with what you have discovered, and with the release of breath allowing the image/knowing to be released as well into the silence of nothingness. Or just take the whole image/sense into your mind’s eye and surrender it to nothingness/silence. Or just let it go, relax everything from your mind or heart until it disappears from your attention and a kind of restful silence remains.
Does it sound complicated? It isn’t, it is a simple movement of attention from the new whole to a gentle release of the ‘whole’ and all else in awareness at the time, a letting it all go out of mind and a relaxation into comfort and relaxation, silence. And wait there or repeat that journey to stillness and silence for as much time as you have before some distraction pulls you out and into an agitation! Then, when something stirs within you and you find a new thread to research, pour yourself back to the first step above, explore further, stir things up, and question again!
It is in these pauses, that we bring all we have done, are doing, to the Creator, as a child brings one of their creations to a parent to be noticed. We bask in the silence, the stillness, and peace, the unboundedness of wholeness, knowing all is well. These are not breaks in the Quest; they are the fulfillment of it, moments of graduation! You have grown, learned, and progressed on your journey. Time to celebrate not step away. Enjoy them, even extend and deepen them as you continue to surrender to this pure stillness and peace, be absorbed in it as you were earlier absorbed in the commitment. This is a dance in and out of the silence of wholeness and eternity, Oneness, and God.
Don’t allow yourself to turn back to distraction as you wait for the time to be over! If you feel that tendency arising, go back to step one above and dive into this tendency, and explore your feelings and how it is in your way on your journey!
For most of the 24 hours, you will be dancing in and out of the feeling/research work of the Quest and the stillness of Creation. But as the day goes on, you will find yourself spending more and more time in the pure Silence of God. Your Commitment has been researched fully, every obstacle has been researched and dealt with, and as you contemplate your commitment you know it intimately and you know you will be able to fulfill it because there is nothing hidden from you that stands in your way.
The last hour or so is when we finally surrender it all to the Creator. By now all your work has fused into such a clear unity of power, passion, knowledge, and confidence that you can hold it all in mind and heart as one accomplishment, one jewel, a gift to the Creator. So, with the remaining time, you first spend a moment focusing on your accomplishment and simply switch your attention (release everything) to the silence of pure stillness. And do this over and over again until the 24 hours are done.
My favorite method of doing this part, begins, as all things on the shamanic path do, with nature. I extend my awareness to nature around me and notice what is happening there, then I bring my awareness to my body, a part of nature, to check in there as well, next I focus on my heart, where I have been working, where I built my gift to the Creator wrought out of the often incoherent struggles of my life, and finally, I drop it all into the internal silence on Oneness. This is a gentle movement, not forced, not quick nor slow, more like a gentle ever-moving wave at the ocean that gently surges in, washes up, and surges back, out again, over and over again, without effort, without interruption, rhythmic.
So, these are the instructions for the Quest. I pray they are clear as I will be traveling for the next two days and will hardly be available to email questions. However, ponder what is written here and then call into one of the group calls listed below to get your questions answered. I will “see” you on Saturday morning on the Quest! I am so excited to join you all on this dive into the unknown and to freedom.
First, is that everyone is going into the quest on Saturday morning, June 29 at dawn. There are no adjustments for time zones so all who are doing this in their home area will be Questing at the same time as others in their area.
Prepare yourself for variances in weather with whatever layers of clothing you will need to support your focus. And bring enough food for before and after the quest, if you need it for safety. On this Quest, all we are focused on are the 24 hours of the Quest itself and I need each of you to provide what you will need to do that.
I hope this email has prepared you well for the Quest. I don’t know what else to add, HOWEVER, if I think of anything, I will put it up as a blog post on this website.
I am expecting nothing short of brilliance from this Quest for you. Give me feedback afterward on your experiences and struggles for future efforts like this one.
Many Blessings and Blessed Questing,